The fear of losing

I lost a game because I don't think fast enough, the op have more than 2 min.
Someone matched me, I don't respond in time. I did some ad in freechess.org.
The aversion is still, I played Neighbours from Hell and learned to live the dangerous and daring ways. I can always restart, there is savegame in life, much more interesting savegame.
I play against a strong ap, he has material advantage, profit of my mistake to have more and more.
Once more I lost, the time is not enough, I though with words.
The browser does not obey me, the Internet cut. I then need creativity.
I achieved the software, now it's time to fear, I told myself about life, about myself, but still this feeling about others "I must be better, more comfortable, superior materially".
I felt that I should not write this: that is education that make me feel divided.
I intend to talk with that admin more, but I fear of disturbing him. Maybe I need to listen to my creativity. This remind me about waking up creativity for some forgot reason, so it will solve problems.
A man teach me to follow my heart, to only trust my ability, "I must do what feel right to me?"
I felf this man is too VIP, I feel being friend with him will make me outside one day.
He told about the alternative behavor that leads to the same thing, choose the best. All the way lead to happiness, choose what god tell you.
I keeps chatting, I feel happy to receive answers, but too short, what's fly-tying?
He told me that's hard to say.
Pgv: the contrary, I love creativity.
Life is a learning process, life is about knowing what to trust.
I told him, he did not answer, I really lose my time typing.
Learning leads to fear, when you make your feeling clear, it always lose power.
I will do things to be happy at present, the future will never come to the present me.
I am myself not the tortured one.
PGV is lucky to never meet his neighbours, how can I be so: in my world, alone but not lonely, I will learn and pass time creating, understanding.
He has moral principle, he considers it as his god, he is a servant of god.
I ask for their blog, they don't have. I can't know what they are doing, each time I receive no answer, I feel that my time has been in vain.


What you need to do is to be creative, you don't need then games to entertain yourself. Don't add ram to your computer , add "ram" and creativity to the body so that you can play the life .

I what a draw blitz, these play quite slow, outside view. Inside view we must say that it's quick.
I know I will lose so I got the idea to make my op wait. I made so much mistake but I don't realize. I only worry to make thing worse.
Already 8h30, I won a match by mistake of op. I myself missed opportunity to checkmate, I did not calculate that's why I fear of the consequence.
I quit the game, realizing that the weather is beautiful and time is passing. Already 2 hours from the "wake up".
Meanings are painkillers for life.
Watched a blitz game, quite superior than my skills, nothing precious about that.
I asked 2 questions in LQ about compilers, I download turbo c, surprised that it's exe file.
I ddon't have satisfied answer asking for coaching. I have TC run nicely, when I think about new love, storm comes, I have played a chess game (a life) with the utmost creativity in the piece, I will live so again. Let the who am I an fuzziness.
When I enter gedit, I need to wait a moment for the cursor. I read Edgar Lasker and I don't want to leave it for watching the game. I can't return or scroll in this java contents.
I see the demise of Morphy, the better become his friend.
I watched several Morphy's game, I think that now I should have new love: whatever happens is within the chessboard. I shall play creatively.
I still can't find the meaning behind the match, I see talents in it.
I run the program but seemingly there is no file to deal with, everything seems virtual.
The weak helped me to play in his side, to make intentional stupidity.
I am wining but lose on time. I am too much seeking the perfect. Losing 43 is a bitterness to me.
At noon, traffic jam for the Net, I can't browse nor play chess anymore.

I won the first match with a sacrifice, the second match I lose due to bad time management and "calculation with speech".
Due to my slowness in thinking, I can't find the right choice to escape, I then am tricked.
I am checkmated so soon, I can't see what is the purpose of op's move.
No one join my game, I think about entertaining myself with websites, but a raging sea make me fear.
I made a mistake that I don't remember.
I lose because I don't realize the checkmate. Too much concentration serve to nothing.
I made a mistake "move the rook too soon", but the op can't profit, I therefore win.
I play with the same person (I invite him) the second time. This time if I lose, I will be in despair.
So much fault from the opponent allow me to win.
So creativity must win the wrestling. I must now be able!
After 13 min, I run out of time and lose, I can't have any attack way. Maybe I'm too supercilious so that I don't create.
Too easy win after 10 min, I wait longly for my op, he denies the obvious move and get into trouble. I am not harmonious that is why I can't wait with invention.
I miss an opportunity to attack, nonetheless, I still win, hollow victory. The thought is resigned to quick, which made me missed a gems.
I made a mistake to allow "pin king", really hope is worst!
After an experience, I tend to forget what I reminded me. I won but nothing creative.
The op make mistake, I have material advantage, I'll lose if I possess vanity.
The op lose queen, I now can win effortlessly, I want to play effortlessly, however spend harmoniously energy.
I am about to checkmate, so easy to win. I love victory so much. What point matter? If I want strong op then I will just play with GNU, but I want to play with human.
I pass long time with freechess and the EU championship, I resume an adjourned game and win, victory should be like defeat to me.
I am too eager to taste "contents", unable to create myself.
I have material advantage, but due to uncalculated move, I lost the bishop and lose.
I missed a combination rood-knight to double check. The op played suicidely. I don't realize how to be creative, I convinced myself so much but maybe I should just do.


I am having a concern about time: without time I can't do anything, I'm too slow. But what's more? (I am asking)


Nietzsche addresses the idea of different moral systems specifically in his book, "Beyond Good and Evil" (link 1). In fact, it could be said to be the very crux of the title itself.

He suggests that an analysis of moral systems will produce two different kinds of systems which each tend to work to different ends, at least in part from their different origins. One will have been devised and used by those who rule, and one by those who are forced to serve. Many of the characteristics of each are self evident:

Slaves cannot help themselves; if they could, they would not be slaves, would they? Thus slave moralities tend to focus on the idea of charity and that of the 'greater good' instead of the individual. Quite the converse! To a slave, the person who stands out is the one most likely to attract notice and punishment, so slave moralities tend to discourage the unusual of any stripe. And since all slaves are in the same boat, it applies to all of them in the same way - anyone can be a good slave, if they only try hard enough.

Master moralities are completely different. To a master, what is good is what serves HIS purposes. And because he must adapt and overcome any number of different challenges, this is not always the same thing. Thus, to a master, what is 'good' is very similar to what gets him power and allows him to keep it. If some master didn't prize such things, then another who did would probably rather quickly replace him. Masters' morality is not only flexible (a.k.a. 'beyond good and evil') but also isolating: its focus is on the one on top instead of the many below.

You can rather quickly see that these two kind of systems almost HAVE to be opposed to each other. Even if there were no resentment between masters and slaves, the masters seek triumph while the slaves seek assimilation. A master defines his morality and shapes the world to suit it; a slave is handed a world he cannot shape and so instead shapes himself to fit it.

To Neitzsche, the choice between systems is as easy as the choice between lifestyles. After all... who would willingly sell themselves into slavery?
Source(s):

http://philosophy.lander.edu/intro/intro...
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I lose the game because I thought "not deep", I think that I should not hurry myself or let my creativity to be manipulated, to be forced to serve something.
I don't care if I win, I just care if I played or tortured myself. Only me can torture me.
The game terminates because the opponent do not make safe decision. One does not well because one is calculateless.
I don't see the obvious move to defend myself, maybe I over-played. I think that I should do something else with creativity to make it tasteful.
I am only proud of myself when I lose with joy , there is no joy for me when there is comfort and achievement but not crativity.
I made an mistake, I give the opponent chance to make sacrifice.
I lost due to some lack of myself, the opponent is not strong but I am too narrow.
I won but I made mistakes, I think that the opponent is too weak, so I can win beautiful.
Now I made big mistake, it seems that I can't see the danger to make my calculation. My observation skill so slow.
I now need to play other match and rapeat the whole again. I don't want to succeed that's all, no matter if everything happen in the chessboard and can't touch me. These only give me information for my creativity.
I move a piece but don't see the implication, so disaster.
I can't calculate, that's the reason for my defeat. I think that I should play other chess, forever.
I swear to entertain myself with other things, now everything is in the chessboard, exept me - the player. There is no others, all are illusion.
I feel so bored when programming.
I have a need to make Readplease repeat, I can't understand, so I help myself rather than to become better.
I have read so much great expression that may change my feeling, but Creativity is best. When I read "existence is pure happiness, sorrow is a failure to recognize this fact".


The spirit is the weather, everyone must enjoy the goodness.

CREATIVITY IS my compass.
My intuition can be wrong, I don't know what to say anymore: just that I am losing time typing these things.
All what happens to you, happens in a chessboard.
As you think about chess, you think about health. The sense of security weaken even if you convince yourself many times.
I forget what I previously exprerience because my attention is not creativity but it's the eyes.
I love to play, want not to work: that is my spirit. I want to write something more here, however I don't have ideas. (I think that's time losing to write these)
I did not descend innerly to command myself, to communicate with the inner voice which is saying: you are losing time, you are breaking the rule (try to seek perfection).
I played a chess match, I lost. The opponent make the queen faster. I just forgot to save the game due to enthusiasm.


Posted

The power to forget

Today, I God told me to open the door of my mind, I resisted.
Lately, I regret because I denied God for keeping some achievements. I denied real achievement!
There is always a voice in my mind, it's not God, it's desire to be perfect (to follow the standard and law).
Any voices that command you to sacrifice are God.
Any voices which menace you for its purpose and desire - are your's.

A long time ago I thought that love was something that you reserved for some special set of people that you had judged worthy of it.

After a while I got to thinking about what Jesus had said about turning the other cheek and loving our neighbor I put the two together and realized that he had made no exceptions in these statements. It became obvious to me that he intended that we exclude no one from the love that we are supposed to be giving. I started thinking about my idea of love and suddenly realized that I had not been loving anyone at all. I had simply been judging everyone and every thing.

Judging someone worthy of love is not love, it is only judgment. I actually started to cry when I realized this. I saw just how much of my life I had wasted being judgmental, thinking of myself as a Christian, when I was actually doing just the opposite of what Jesus had asked us to do.

I thought about the verse judge not lest ye be judged, and I understood it for the first time.

I realized that I have a lot of catching up to do. So many opportunities were wasted. I now try to apply the love that I have for the world in a universal way like Jesus asks us to do.

If I start to feel afraid and think that I see someone that I should not love because of something I have thought or heard I try to catch my mistake as soon as possible. I tell myself that I have forgot the truth and have fallen for the same old trick that had cost me so many opportunities to be loving in the past. The horror of this realization is often all that is necessary to bring me back to my senses and make me drop the judgmental nonsense I was thinking.

I still have a lot to learn about love, but at least I’m making progress.

Love and blessings

Your brother
don
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Jouge








love over money... love makes you feel like a million dollars.
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passing time in lust, I can't be creative. I receive too much, too selfish: despite my conviction, the feelings of distrust still here, though a little weaker. I give a solemn : be creativity.
I never feel sad, because I know how to fill my self. I means not "I can", but "I can't, other can". The one who can - will take responsability of my well-being.
I will sleep, creativity will guide a body.


I felt imperfection -> I am unsatisfied, I can't be efficient.
I am a company. I am not fearful of what will happen, for I am the spirit of all body. I forgot a theory that will liberate me. There is no danger, only disobedience.
The desire of completeness, the self is just a laptop.
We are atoms, we possess the proprieties of a "mass of atoms": atoms move according to magnetism and forces.
"Help me to become Gennius": thus I told the gods. I wonder if I am something in this vibrational state of atoms (we are atoms). I am the loop that calls itself "conscious".
I don't want to deal with unsatisfied things: writing what I know already.
The self is a collection of tastes, you should change your taste naturally faster than "naturally".
Hupothesis: because of getting used to become better by discovering the Web, I don't feel about the others. Why don't I want others to be better, while they are like me?
The ignorance due to being deluted by worldly phenomena (society, other self, meaning of money/time) - is the cause of selfishness which lead to stupidity.
I really want to break my resistant head, it's not mine. I am in delusion bc of education.


Making mistake, and realize it after is normal. I thought that Java is not installed, I downloaded just to realize that it's already there.
Losing lot of time on chess, I don't really learn nor be creative.
When I think about being a good programmer, I think about "them". I decided to work despite aversion (a name for all things related to this issue of "fear of creativity"). I know that life won't be sweet, but I am creativity, bodies are expression of mine.
Still the unfavorable feeling, why fearing or do not want people to be better? Too selfish, I am not that.
Creativity is the power to be enthusiast, I need to make good programs like: readplease.
I lost time on re-creating the chess table, there is something not me which drive the body, I am curious to know the reason (maybe: to check for problem).

I still hate and don't want my siter to be better, that's why I don't want myself to be better.
I affirm that the dog is not selfish, a voice which is others' protest that the dog also hates others. I don't want to be uncreative, it's not me.


1. e4 e6 2. d4 d5 3. Nd2 Nf6 4. Bd3 c5 5. e5 Nfd7 6. c3 Nc6 7. Ne2 Qb6 8.
Nf3 cxd4 9. cxd4 f6 10. exf6 Nxf6 11. O-O Bd6 12. Bg5 Qxb2 13. Rb1 Qa3 14.
Bxf6 gxf6 15. Qd2 O-O 16. Rb3 Qa5 17. Qb2 Nb4 18. Bb1 Nc6 19. Bd3 Nb4 20.
Bb1 Nc6 21. Rc1 e5 22. Rb5 Qa6 23. Re1 e4 24. Rxd5 exf3 25. Rxd6 fxe2 26.
Rxe2 Qc4 27. a3 Kg7 28. Re3 Kh8 29. Be4 Qf7 30. Bxc6 bxc6 31. Rxc6 Bb7 32.
Rce6 Rab8 33. Re7 Qh5 34. Qe2 Qg6 35. f3 Rfc8 36. Qf1 Bd5 37. Rxa7 Rb1 38.
Re1 Rxe1 39. Qxe1 Bxf3 40. g3 Qg4 41. Qd2 Qe4 42. h4 Qb1+ 43. Kf2 Bh1 44.
Ke2 Qf5 45. Qe3 Qc2+ 46. Ke1 Qb1+ 47. Ke2 Rc2+ 48. Qd2 Bg2 49. Rxh7+ Kxh7
50. Qxc2+ Qxc2+ 51. Ke3 Qc3+ 52. Ke2 Bf3+ 53. Kf2 Bg4 54. Kg1 Qf3 55. a4
Bh3 56. Kh2 Qg2#


If you need to choose, then don't choose. You need to be healthy and creative: it sounds very good, however disgusting for anyone.
You want stress and hate peace and joy. That's why you are always worrying.
Let your choice be CREATIVITY's choice, then you don't need to live, creativity lives.
You fear of reincarnation? You who fear not of reincarnation have nothing to fear of rebirth.
If ever reincarnation happens to you, you are creativity and always so.
If creativity commands "Imagine!" , then you should die for imagination, rather than fight against creativity for some unknown one's interest.
You are working for your master's interest, you should be the master. The slave will be other things.

Don't distinguish between tangible and intangible.
Be a child who don't distinguish between these two.
These two are same.
The table is tangible, the air also, the void also. But not for human.
The void is as tangible as the tangible, a child conceive so.
If the void is intangible, then the tangible is intangible: bizarre but true.
There is something that make your conscience conscious. The child's conscience is more than conscious: it's sub-conscious.
The more you experience what you consider "not good", the more childish will you become.
Life is a game, don't take it serious. Gain and loss means nothing: a child plays a game for fun (because of fun).
When I'm young, I don't care much about victory. Other childs do care, that's how I am infected.


I am you, i.e. you are nothing. I am also nothing. Who said something about me, said something about you.
I am not me, I am not conscious of myself, for I am really myself (if you are conscious about "you", then it's an illusion).
Something which is wholly itself does not need consciousness.
Something which can control itself - does not need conscience.
You fear of behaving wrongly because you have an unnecessary part called "conscience".
You will behave normally without conscience. It's difficult to believe, but it's true that a child has no conscience.


Self-consciousness is always the sole REASON for your behaviour.
Self-sacrifice is the enemy of self-consciousness.
Therefore, you always worry, because you don't dare to be brave, to suffer, to be stupid.
Without daring, you still suffer, be stupid...
You always have something behind your consciousness, that is your creativity or CREATIVITY (for creativity is not a possession, it's a living thing)
Your concept "a body equals a self" is wrong and true.
Why don't you listen to and master the voice in the background, which is fast and powerful.

When you love CREATIVITY, you want creativity to overcome every other feelings. You want to sacrifice yourself for CREATIVITY'S life.
That is very good love. Love does not exist when you say "I am losing time dealing with this"; it exist when you say "I feel so light when it's with me"
When you love, your sense of SELF alters, you don't feel the traditional SELF that your neighbours injected into the body (so that the body called itself "me"), you FEEL the joy of togetherness.
If you care about anything other than the present, then you don't love. Let the future be painful, but enjoy the present.


You will live more vigourously and joyfully, if you are CREATIVITY.
If you are just creative, you will become uncreative because of the environment.
If you want to succeed, you should not strain your brain and hurry yourself.
Don't ever cry "I want to succeed", "this is not good".
Cry out your ideas and imagination, you are not yourself.
The slef can't be something stupid, which can't knnow how to be effective. Even if it knows, it can't do anything with knowledges.
It's vain to learn, it's vain to train yourself: all sportman get weaker as time past.
However, be CREATIVITY, i.e. never cry "I am losing time" or "It's dangerous" or "thing about the future".


I fall in "altered consciousness", I think about people around me, they are quite self-limited, I don't wan't to be different from people.

Creativity is just for now

What does living means, so that you give it so much preciousness and want it forever. Living with imagination and creativity is no fun, it's just needed in this environment.


To live means to enjoy with creativity and nothing more. I live not if I am stupid, so I don't care about my image and health when I'm not imaginative to overcome all fear of triggering a "people will see and will be affected"


The free will is a predestination: you don't make mistake, nor doom yourself in life. All is part of life. Imagination will help you make reality less deceptive. Which that boast about itself to be related to truth will be considered as unimaginative.
Only live near joy, not near safety.

Science has no notion, it's not anything but a name. The world is fun and unserious, it's a game. Suffering is interesting and addictive.
Oh the fear of harmless noise, where does it come? That is the music of the game.
The "forget of needed things", that is the challenge of the game, or the diversity of life.

Never hesitate, the perfection of the world is undisputable, that will make you free. Once you realize your desires, the nature of yourself, you will let the raging sea happens. Your mind is the earth. Oh the expectation, the fear, and desire to do something. You must be imaginative to enjoy your non-self.

Listen to God, you can't listen with effort. That is nature which make you perfect, not civilisation. We are God since we are not in reality, but in dream. Imagine more, you will see the world not as "I exist independantly, there is others". The will to victory and quantity are very not your nature.
You are the will of joy, you let thing happen naturally, never expect safety and succeed.

This may help: http://youwillovercomethefearofachievement.blogspot.com/

Be forgetful of all dangers, you can't remember when you use the metalanguage. To formulate theories about linguistic matters, it is generally necessary, in order to avoid semantic paradoxes like the liar paradox, to distinguish the language that one is talking about, the so-called object language, from the language that one is using, the so-called metalanguage. In the following, quoted sentences like "P" are always sentences of the object language. Everything not in quotation is part of the metalanguage. Tarski's material adequacy condition, also known as Convention T or the T-schema, holds that any viable theory of truth must entail, for every sentence P of a language, that:

(1) "P" is true if, and only if, p.

(where p abbreviates, in the metalanguage, the proposition expressed by the sentence "P" of the object language.)

Like the computer world always make changing standart, every world will change. There is no moral or reality, only feeling and belief. Depending on circumstance that the concept of good and bad, safe and danger - will be among the mass.
If you have a problem and do not want to be out of the usual (stupidity). You need to be out, not for any reason but for it's your new concept.

He is the father which can't be conceived, the language that can't be understand, the vagueness that make the chain of action, the feeling that want you to achieve but don't want you to enjoy.

Don't ever ask why, I think that there is no need to know. With the childish way of thinking, you don't care about what you don't enjoy.
The similarity is something basic to attraction, you won't be creative wnough to remember and write well. I am in a state of "wanting the good in 1 thing", I don't enjoy because the threat of playing.
Nothing consists of a bizarre coincidence, all is natural; but you should be able to be joyful by imagining.
You think that you are alone, you are just not creative enough for fear of the vague, let the fear enjoy you with its resistance. Don't try hard to avoid something, you won't be able to be joyful if you fear of boringness: accept both with love.

Nature is you, it's a boat that floats along the sea. The sea is unknown to man, for when he knows, he is unconscious and raging. I always want to achieve, but fear of creativity. Fear not, you only live now, the futur is not you.

I thought that : what is meaningful is due to feelings. Before I feel "opening too many content" wasteful. Everything is helpless, what is needful is imagination, not reality.
I recognize the feeling which ask for an identity, it make the environment cloudy, I can't therefore see it.
The soul is weak, it's the second body. It's living.
In the new language, creativity and quick understanding is better.
Always want to perfect something, affected negatively if being real (imaginative) effective.
I think about being so effective like in the past, I feel raging. I hesitate, I must go on. Now, I am seeking feelings for extinguishing the aversion. That is true that playing for victory will make you stupid and maybe lose.


The desire to learn, I cant know what to write.


It's now time to be great, more achieveful. I have great problem: when I tried to make the software, I feel something that I should not be conscious about (like I'm not conscious about my grandmother feeling). The realization of becoming more efficient will trigger the self-preservation resistance.
I am now to be off, I can't reach harmony: my only aim in life.
It's still too harsh, I can't be harmonious. But I will, only need to ignore the menace and enjoy the present.
Oh I see how to be harmonious, it means NOW to be effective in programming and analyzing stock market, to be healthy... After, it may mean to preserve the enthusiasm of being creative.



I fear, I don't want, I strained, all my knownledge faded. I now need to be guided, I don't want to be.
Servility always in me, I who fear of being honey. I should bear the fate of the pretty girl.
Something is tied around my waist, I am too heavy to be fast, once I liberate myself, I will be captured again, but my soul would be the raging sea once more. I love vanity.
I mend my bike, so that I can enjoy driving. Time when it's bad, I enjoy sleeping in creativity and imagination.
I am on the verge of collapse in boringness, I can't please myself with these perfection anymore, for me everything is perfect.
So I understood, I now need something I can't conceive. It's unnatural, I am the free spirit.
The conditions under which any one understands me, and necessarily understands me--I know them only too well. Even to endure my seriousness, my passion, he must carry intellectual integrity to the verge of hardness. He must be accustomed to living on mountain tops--and to looking upon the wretched gabble of politics and nationalism as beneath him. He must have become indifferent; he must never ask of the truth whether it brings profit to him or a fatality to him... He must have an inclination, born of strength, for questions that no one has the courage for; the courage for the forbidden; predestination for the labyrinth. The experience of seven solitudes. New ears for new music. New eyes for what is most distant. A new conscience for truths that have hitherto remained unheard. And the will to economize in the grand manner--to hold together his strength, his enthusiasm...Reverence for self; love of self; absolute freedom of self.



My creativity will sprout overnight, tomorrow, I will have so much ideas that I can't say a word or hear. I will lose my sense. Creativity already has senses.


A day without taking risk, without Yoga...
To stay within the sanctuary, to be joyful in that place. One can't be forever in one place, soon the body will bear what it want not. I don't need an environment for life.
I will make this world my imagination, my imagination will be real - thus is happiness. No one can touch me in my world, I am the master and creator of sweet things. Fancy is surrounding the one who want no succeed, so that he fear not succeed. Daring: the power of imagination, the braveness of the faith, the denial of reality, the herbless.
I need to be defeated, I will never be robust enough to sustain condition for creativity. Creativity is something which can't be developed, you need to be at present and realize the perfection.
The language of conceitedness will not be mine, I am of nationality raging sea. I speak the language of a child, All my progress will become vain. I love vanity, for it refresh me.
Now I want to preserve the knowledge of others, I am unable to make it, I am not enough others, I am too "me". It's an ingrained belief which will be detached from me. I don't consider stupidity nor creativity as innate, these exist together without being in conflict: a slow speech will upset a fast receptor, a fast speech will be difficult. I am so flexible that I cannot be shaped, I am ubiquitous. When I need to be fast, I am Morphy. When I need to listen to a slow one, I am nature. Look at how the paper listen to your writings.


I am the creator of everything, what is out of my creation? There is no evil, I am the creator of evil. Men should show his affection to everything.
Men can destroy, they are my tools. Men are not free, they are commanded by forces. They should listen to the strongest forces.
Arguments have no force, these can menace but can't make truth. The truth is "you will perish". I can't let anything forever, I am not unable, I am very able to let this boy forever creative. But what does it serve? I want this boy to have diversigied range of feelings. Let him regret, fear, take risks...
Don't fear boy, you are only a piece in the chessboard, you will die. You are very unimportant.
I am the confusion maker, let confusion make the best. I want also the weakest who will serve the best and be dangerous.
I am the chess player, I am playing alone but never feel lonely: I am infinite amount of individuals.
I am an intricate network, the weak is genius for me: they are able to do risky things, they are confident in affirming, they are fast and patient. Now I want the strong who inherit all these character in a new domain: the nice domain. I want the strong to become weak and I want his resistance against.
Then he needs to realize that he has been strong and lost strongness an infinite times, he needs to overcome the disgust and to be intrigued in becoming again.

Unheard truth

I fear, I don't want, I strained, all my knownledge faded. I now need to be guided, I don't want to be.
Servility always in me, I who fear of being honey. I should bear the fate of the pretty girl.
Something is tied around my waist, I am too heavy to be fast, once I liberate myself, I will be captured again, but my soul would be the raging sea once more. I love vanity.
I mend my bike, so that I can enjoy driving. Time when it's bad, I enjoy sleeping in creativity and imagination.
I am on the verge of collapse in boringness, I can't please myself with these perfection anymore, for me everything is perfect.
So I understood, I now need something I can't conceive. It's unnatural, I am the free spirit.
The conditions under which any one understands me, and necessarily understands me--I know them only too well. Even to endure my seriousness, my passion, he must carry intellectual integrity to the verge of hardness. He must be accustomed to living on mountain tops--and to looking upon the wretched gabble of politics and nationalism as beneath him. He must have become indifferent; he must never ask of the truth whether it brings profit to him or a fatality to him... He must have an inclination, born of strength, for questions that no one has the courage for; the courage for the forbidden; predestination for the labyrinth. The experience of seven solitudes. New ears for new music. New eyes for what is most distant. A new conscience for truths that have hitherto remained unheard. And the will to economize in the grand manner--to hold together his strength, his enthusiasm...Reverence for self; love of self; absolute freedom of self.



My creativity will sprout overnight, tomorrow, I will have so much ideas that I can't say a word or hear. I will lose my sense. Creativity already has senses.


A day without taking risk, without Yoga...
To stay within the sanctuary, to be joyful in that place. One can't be forever in one place, soon the body will bear what it want not. I don't need an environment for life.
I will make this world my imagination, my imagination will be real - thus is happiness. No one can touch me in my world, I am the master and creator of sweet things. Fancy is surrounding the one who want no succeed, so that he fear not succeed. Daring: the power of imagination, the braveness of the faith, the denial of reality, the herbless.
I need to be defeated, I will never be robust enough to sustain condition for creativity. Creativity is something which can't be developed, you need to be at present and realize the perfection.
The language of conceitedness will not be mine, I am of nationality raging sea. I speak the language of a child, All my progress will become vain. I love vanity, for it refresh me.
Now I want to preserve the knowledge of others, I am unable to make it, I am not enough others, I am too "me". It's an ingrained belief which will be detached from me. I don't consider stupidity nor creativity as innate, these exist together without being in conflict: a slow speech will upset a fast receptor, a fast speech will be difficult. I am so flexible that I cannot be shaped, I am ubiquitous. When I need to be fast, I am Morphy. When I need to listen to a slow one, I am nature. Look at how the paper listen to your writings.


I am the creator of everything, what is out of my creation? There is no evil, I am the creator of evil. Men should show his affection to everything.
Men can destroy, they are my tools. Men are not free, they are commanded by forces. They should listen to the strongest forces.
Arguments have no force, these can menace but can't make truth. The truth is "you will perish". I can't let anything forever, I am not unable, I am very able to let this boy forever creative. But what does it serve? I want this boy to have diversigied range of feelings. Let him regret, fear, take risks...
Don't fear boy, you are only a piece in the chessboard, you will die. You are very unimportant.
I am the confusion maker, let confusion make the best. I want also the weakest who will serve the best and be dangerous.
I am the chess player, I am playing alone but never feel lonely: I am infinite amount of individuals.
I am an intricate network, the weak is genius for me: they are able to do risky things, they are confident in affirming, they are fast and patient. Now I want the strong who inherit all these character in a new domain: the nice domain. I want the strong to become weak and I want his resistance against.
Then he needs to realize that he has been strong and lost strongness an infinite times, he needs to overcome the disgust and to be intrigued in becoming again.

I give the boy power and task

Nothing is divine, Jesus said that something is divine because something means nothing: the world is an illusion, matters are not real.
I want not to have faith, I don't want to be serving aa meaning.
I will be what God commands me to be, I will not care about my fate: God cares for me. Will God separate himself from me? God created me out of what? Does God have materials for creation? I don't think that I am not God. I am the created one out of creativity, I am the product of creativity.
My nature is the raging sea, I can't be anything else. What exist besides the raging sea? The peaceful sky, the raging baby, the laughing mother, the drowning father. I am not anything in this scene, I am nature. I am the nature of everything, everything is raging!
I will make this boy who watchhed an expression of the Law, the sea. I will make this boy able of good spirit and talents. This boy will bear suffering with a smile.
I will let this ugly woman be stupid. I want her to make her children stupid. She will be my favorite part, she will preserve my health. My body is war. I expect the boy to show piety to her as it show piety to me.
The spirit which is protesting against the heresy will be ignored, I give the boy the power to do so now. I want nothing forever.

Against the ugly

I want to learn more and more to see as beautiful what is necessary in things; then I shall be one of those who make things beautiful. Amor fati: let that be my love henceforth! I do not want to wage war against what is ugly. I do not want to accuse; I do not even want to accuse those who accuse. Looking away shall be my only negation. And all in all and on the whole: some day I wish to be only a Yes-sayer.



In this moment, I am someone, I am what I have been made. I will not be able to be stronger than mankind, I will not be able to defend myself against the invasion of ugliness. I am a pretty girl who will become ugly.
Time is my enemy, I will make time stop. Everything will stop except this meaningless universe. I will be in peace with my great computer to write good books.
I am not the fear of achievement, I am not the one who will live in the projected future. I am not the one who lived in the past. I am the cause of all things. Time is created by me.
What will be me who created both yang and yin? I have no future, my future is the present. I am not what you can touch, I am your "after death".
Death is creativity, without dead matters, there is no life. Without stupidity, there is no destruction, no death.
Why stupidity is present? I will ask myself this question which bears the same answer: why darkness exists?
Nothing can exist without an environment, I don't exist because I am the environment.
I will follow my instinct like the dog follows its master. I will die of hunger without following my master.

Lightning of the spirit

I am the light which comes out of the "condition", I don't exist as a material or a will. No menace can fear me, I am that which fears not, I will go in the way of God.

The fact that I will shine is an illusion, in all excellencies will I shine: another illusion. I am not the sun. I am not the will to achievement. Why Alah is unknown to me? I admire not Alah, let this god be admired by the new me.

For lack of ability did I write complexly. I must then be creativity, not the will to be creative. Succeed seems to me empty, I am the cause of succeed.

No idea, no creativity, no braveness to be creative; I shall be creative because I am creativity. I am not energy, but the way energy liberates itself.

I fear of succeed, is it me? What make me feel such fear? Is that conscience me? I am not these things, I am not something that is so limited. I am infinite and big.

Don't fear of stupidity, long for it. It seems not good, I am creativity, therefore, stupidity is my friend. I want to be surrounded by friends!

I will be what I want, I will have the condition which keeps me lively. That condition is what I fear of. I know that I will not shine in this world, I will shine in my own world.

Nothing deserve to be included in the tale today. I will make the dangerous move, I will get maybe a more complicated chess position, I love difficulty. The world make nothing to me, I will not be changed. The world is the chessboard before which I am sitting. I will play with joy and without desire.

The pure and high sensation

O heaven over me, pure and high! That is what your purity is to me now, that there is no eternal spider or spider web of reason; that you are to me a dance floor for divine accidents, that you are to me a divine table for divine dice and dice players. ~ Nietzsche


That small creature with eight thin legs, the spider, will not be your master. I am the master and creator of the spider race: I accept no moral, no meaning, no safety, no glory; I am the one who overcome the fear of achievement.

You and I are the product of ourself: don't you remember that there is time when we are one; after splitting ourself, we lost that oneness conscience.

We are living in the darkness of superstition, the "I" always do anything for its own interest. The "you" is no different from the "I": it's just a matter of perspective.

We lost our ability to think about ourself in a reasonable way: we often exaggerate the interest of ourself.

You don't want to achieve because you fear of the covetousness of others; you are covetous, that's why you know others are too: you still have a sense of similarity between you and others. The sense of similarity proves that you are not independent.

I and you should live with zeal; if an activity is boring, we will abhor it and leave it without caring about the feeling of regret.

We are close to the overcoming of slowness, we will soon be unfamiliar with hesitation. Why do we hesitate? With hesitation the solution will be "rotten".

incorruptibility, indignation, stature, achievement, honour, respect, shrunken, blended, improper, unseemly, polite, suitable, unruffled, unperturbed, temperal, blossom, goad, irritated, hurt, goaded, sundered, alienate, less, friendly